posted 07-10-2000 10:47 AM         

Or Parent's who do not treat us and/or our spouse with respect.

How do we honor parents who make light of your religious beliefs, decisions, etc.?

How do you honor parents, who do not respect boundaries in your life?

How do you honor parent who worships sports or money?

These are just some questions that can be asked, I know there are many others that someone might have on this topic.

My wife and I have had a lot of questions about honoring our parents. We want our children to know how to honor their parents and we feel like they must learn by example. We did not have a good example of how to do this set by our parents, so how do we honor parents who do not respect us or the decisions we make?

Appreciate any insight.

Thank you,

posted 07-10-2000 12:57 PM            

What I have to say is "easier said then done". I too was "alone" in my faith in the face of my family... Praise be to Yahshua, my dad, my mom, my sister now call on Yahshua. It was a course that took place over many years. As I watched one by one come into the fold. And each one went through their "affliction" so many of us can relate too when we come into the truth and understanding of just who it is we serve.

I would like to offer a few "suggestions". But know that my prayers are with you both and your families.
First...
Ask Yah to turn their hearts unto Him.
Talk to Yah about them, and ask Him to put His words in your mouth that you do not bring shame upon His name. (His message)

Do your very best not to raise your voice to your parents. Always be respectful even in disagreements. For truly we need not be offended in Him.
There is never a greater test of the love that Yahshua conforms in His followers then when in the face of animosity.
"Turning our cheek" goes for our family members too. (smile)

I found quoting Yah's word on a regular basis in simple conversation is a real eye opener for many. Many people "think" they know what the bible says, even though they do not read it. Especially if they have experienced a church with a pastor that will take one or two scriptures and turn it into a two hour sermon. (not sayng all do this)

Yah's word is quite powerful...
I have had many people say "awe DeAnna!" and my reply is a pretty standard:
"I'm only sharing what Yahshua says about the matter, may I suggest you take it up with Him".

If your parents are in need, do not fail to help them in any way you can. If mom is sick etc. bring dinner for her and dad.. etc.

When they question your faith, or "poke" at it... do try to respond gently and lovingly.
I have often said as soft as I know how; "I understand how you feel, but in truth Yahshua has blessed me far too much for me to join you in your jest."

Asking Yahshua (Yahs' salavation) to cause you to lay down by still waters, is a prayer that is according to His word. And as you know dear freind, He is true to His word.

I know it can be really hard at times. To keep patients. ESPECIALLY with parents. Often they are a bit controlling to say the least. But keep in mind that all things are possible with Yah.

Recently Yah has opened my eyes to Jeremiah 30. How His chosen are to be persecuted... and those that persecute us, will also be persecuted, and by this they are turned unto Yah. And the ones that persecute them will also be persecuted and so on. Yah's ways are so much higher then our ways. Often what we think to be a bad thing is in fact a truly wonderful thing.

Last, I would like to encourage you through the understanding that:
Once a seed (Yah's word) is planted. We do not see results right away. It needs a bit of sunshine and watering. This often happens through other witnesses that take place when you are not around. through other sources that confirm and bring to memory the word you had once quoted to them.

then slowly you will see a sprout. then a stem, then a bud. Truly it is a growth.
The more gentleness (even in the face of animosity) the two of you show toward your parents, the better the witness the two of you are.
Take heart dear friend. Yahshua has overcome the world. And Yah is not slack toward those that engage their heart unto Him.

posted 07-10-2000 02:22 PM            

What DeAnna has written is good. I would just like to add that sometimes when we have a hard time honoring someone it is due to a lack of forgivness. This goes for our parents or other people. Sometimes it is a rebellious heart when it comes to our parents or others in authority over us. If we harbor unforgivness towards our parents for their past or present actions we are unable to honor them as is proper. This is not an easy thing to deal with. We must do this as unto Yahweh or we will focus too much on the actions of others. Ask our Father to search your heart and show you any areas of unforgivness that you may need to deal with. I may be way off base in your case, but I have found this to be true in the past. May Yahweh bless you in your quest to honor your parents as is pleasing to Him.

posted 07-10-2000 09:13 PM            

Honor shows gratutude.

Many misplace honor with being taken advantage of and the illusion of humility with being used or abused by ones parent.

A question was posed to me the other day. What would you choose, Love or Honor?
My answer was with without love there cannot be the fulfillment of honor.

My father for example, divorced my mom over 18 yrs. ago. He has chosen not to be in my life and doesn't know the names of his last 2 grandchildren (there are 5) and his 1st great-grandaughter.
It was by *his* choice to take this path away from the faith he was born into, and by the freedom of this faith afforded to him by the blood of the martyrs that suffered in the name of the Christ. He chose to run away from his family and chose another 'woman', both physically and spiritually (religion).

How would i dishonor my father? I would dishonor my father by carrying the sins of my parents, by choosing a path that was not sanctioned by the Lord and to teach my children a blind-sided warped view based on my anger......you get the point.

Yes he was the sperm donor. I do give him honor (gratitude) for life. But the lifestyle he chose in his life i do not honor, as upon death, he will answer to the "Ancient of Days" and arrive at the place of his destiny.

My mother? She lives near me and we see her often. She has struggled in the monetary and the spiritual. To test her false authority with me and my family, she imposed self-made rules/regulations that were not of God and i chose not to dishonor her by arguing a dead point, and not dishonoring her by accepting these self-made rules but by giving her attention, and slowly by discussing the word of God with her to where she is now, like DeAnna's case they also call on HIM. (which takes many years to progress to this point)

Because they are your parents, they are to be respected. Even if you have to bite the inside of your cheek *L*.

Like it or not, we are part of their DNA. (i claim my grandmothers DNA *LOL*) We inherit the good stuff and to our dismay, the bad stuff. It is the negative things that needs changing, and the positive things that need honing.

Love them or hate them, if my father comes to my doorstep needing help, food or just to visit, he will be allowed in. If he brandishes a false authority, and causes disturbance within my home, he then will be asked to leave, with gentle honor as the rules in MY home are for his protection. If he chooses attitude instead of gratitude, and pride to step in the way of truth, then i suppose i won't see him for a very very long time, by his choice.

Each case is different and unique.

My concluding thought is how can i expect my father to be something he is not? That is not reality. He is not capable of living the lifestyle afforded by suffering in the name of The Christ. Any higher expectation would bring me suffering emotionally thereby causing me physical/spiritual sickness. Ultimately it is his choice to accept the Lord and His ways and truely feel the fulfillment of love in all ways or accept the ways of man and die bitter and lonely. Still his decision.

My duty is to show honor thru love, and in the fruits, all the attributes are bookended by Love and Self-Control. Without self-control there can't be true patience. Without love there cant be true peace and joy.

DeAnna and Simpleman have written nice posts.

posted 07-11-2000 12:32 PM            

Very good question...and my heart rejoices to see that people do honor their parents.... One of the things that i was shown beside what has already been share is that i honor my parents by praying for them.... unfortunately my mom has passed away almost 7 years ago and only My Heavenly Father knows where will she be... my dad is still alive and well... i thank Yahweh for that for it is only because HE is keeping him well and alive so i pray for him daily that he may also choose the life that our Father wants us to live and has been shown and given to us through Yahshua, HalleluYah!!! Our Heavenly Father wants everyone to come to know HIM, it is a great blessing to be called according to HIS will to share the good news, it is a great blessing to be used by Yah for HIS glory !!! Truly, one can honor his/her parents only when they know Yahweh and Yahshua, for only then self does not come into place. My dad lives approx. 8,000 km away from me... i miss him for i only see him every 3-4 years, and i praise Yah for letting me go this summer to be with my dad and my mom-in-law to share the good works of Yahshua, i also pray, and i am asking you also, my brothers and sisters to pray for us that we may do Yah’s will and that Yah will open their heart unto HIM (thank you D’) that the walls will be removed.

My heart rejoices to see that Yahshua is bringing more people into His kingdom, it is absolutely wonderful to see when our parents come to worship the Almighty Yahweh our Creator... my desire is that when my husband, my daughter and myself go to Poland we will truly ALL praise HIM for everything that HE has done... HalleluYah

Yahweh bless you and keep you, Yahweh make HIS face shine upon you and be gracious unto you, Yahweh lift up HIS face upon you and give you SHALOM

in HIS love and peace
your sister in Yahshua
Dorota

posted 07-11-2000 02:09 PM         

Thank you all for your wonderful answers to this difficult question. I really appreciate the intelligent insight that you have offered and I will take some more time to think about how to best apply it to my situation.

Thanks again.

posted 07-11-2000 04:19 PM            

i too share the disbelieving parents syndrome. The postings on this thread are messages that i feel sure are directed to those of us who are "parentialy challenged", by The Holy Spirit... thank You Father for sending Your Son... Thanks to Yashua for sending us The Holy Spirit ... HalleluYah !

so i set about to offer my addition to this thread... i started out to discuss a verse that is wrongly understood and often misused by believers and skeptics alike:

Luke 14:26
26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.(KJV)

i went into the "Strong's" linked to on this site and got:

3404 miseo {mis-eh'-o}

from a primary misos (hatred); TDNT - 4:683,597; v

AV - hate 41, hateful 1; 42

1) to hate, pursue with hatred, detest
2) to be hated, detested

i then went into a (genuine) Strong's for:

03404 3404 miseo mis-eh'-o

from a primary misos (hatred); to detest (especially to persecute); by
extension, to love less:--hate(-ful).

the latter renders Yashua's Word (Luke 14:26) with clarity and accuracy.

the former is a load of bull dung (disguised by the theft of Dr. Strong's credability)!

2 Pet 2:3
3 And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.
(KJV)

It is verily a deception, an abomination and a stumbling block especially to the "little ones".

this has proliferated the internet..... but that deception is allowed to satan by Father.

2 Pet 2:1
1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

me ? i'm, at this juncture, hopeful to be assigned to permanent k-p; but in His Army that's like being a 5 star general on earth.

Can you imagine the foul stench that false teachers render unto our Loving Father ?
Those who mess with The Word are messing with Him !

John 8:42-43
42 Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.
(KJV)

again thank you for being His vehicle for some needed admonition and counsel on my situation vis a vis my parents.

Matt 10:16
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
(KJV)

Yashua Is The Living Word !

philip