The Could & Would Difference

Have you ever come across this one?
It can be rather frustrating with the small detail.
Let me explain.

I have asked brothers in my life (in times past) to do something, except I’d ask, “Could you do….?”
Each time, each individual would answer, “Could I? I don’t think I could.”
It would frustrate me that they didn’t answer straight-forward. Then some suggested that I ask, “Would you” because it sounded better.

Likewise, if I asked a sister, “Would you do…” I always felt I was demeaning her in some way because if she didn’t comply, she was being selfish in some way.
I’ve been raised to ask “Could you” because “Would you” was rude, as though I was insinuating that they didn’t want to do it.

I recently asked Yahweh what the big deal was with it.
The explanation I got was not what I expected, but it helped me not only understand, but also remember how to differentiate.

Most women strive to prove that they are capable to do whatever they are asked.
To ask them “Could you?” is an opportunity to prove that they can.

Most men (in my books, it’s all men) already know their capabilities and do not need to prove themselves.
They prefer the “Would you?” because it serves as an opportunity of free choice.
They would rather be free to choose to serve than be asked to prove their capabilities.

That makes sense.