Ouch. To think that I have to start with myself when I can see the idiosyncrasies of others so much more clearer. Wouldn’t it be better if I started with them and they could change?
From personal experience, that never works. Never. Yet, we can still make the best of that situation. How?
Forgetfulness in Full Swing
When I am irritated with someone else’s quirks, that actually becomes a red flag for me that I need to change something in myself. It is very easy for me to turn a blind eye to my own idiosyncrasies and gloss over my own flaws. Yahweh doesn’t leave me orphaned in that area, though. My oversight is flagged with hyper-sensitivity of the same habit in other people.
For example, I can be forgetful (especially when life gets busy) and overlook the smallest details. When I realize my forgetfulness, it’s an “oh well, I’ll try harder next time.” Now, when I am the receiver of that, I think to myself, “Well, the least so-and-so could have done is communicate with me!” Do you follow me?
I used to get quite upset with other people’s forgetfulness when it affected me, but when I was forgetful, I would brush it off like it was nothing. As I learned to understand myself through observation (and lots of help from the Holy Spirit!), I realized that my actions (or lack thereof) affected other people, BIG TIME!
Understanding the Connection
I was able to bridge what I did to others with how others’ neglect affected me. It was a monumental moment! There began a starting point of change. I sure didn’t like how I was treated in those supposed insignificant moments, so when I forgot, I learned to make sure that I communicated my regret (or asked forgiveness) for the apparent neglect.
That was humbling.
I also learned that innately, it’s one of innate personality quirks in early life. I could continue to accept the fact that I’ll always be forgetful, or I could make the conscious choice to remember by making notes, setting reminders, putting tasks as priorities.
It takes work, of course, but, then again, change takes work.
I can stay on the same path and feel like I am self-sabotaging myself, or I can walk an unknown path (which will soon become familiar) and invest in myself (and others).
Likely you know what choice I made because I am here sharing with you. I chose the unknown path with the unfamiliar territory. It wasn’t as bad as I feared and change wasn’t as hard as I thought.
The Key to Change
The key to change is understanding. When we understand the scope of our situation, then we are empowered to make different choices. Different choices lead to different outcomes, but we are getting ahead of ourselves. We are still at the understanding stage.
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