Here is a piece I wrote almost five years ago. I think it is helpful to be aware that we all struggle with this one. As you read it, imagine everyone else having the same struggle. It can feel a bit overwhelming!
Instant Mindsets
Mindsets have become a little more instant than we would care to admit. We are all familiar with the get-rich-quick schemes on the net. Someone somewhere tries to sell you something or show you how to make lots of money quick (with very little work). They load you up with the idea – or mindset – that you will cash out on what you really want in life. Of course, most of us know that there’s more involved and usually it requires time AND effort to achieve those big goals, but for the rest of us, we give it a try, it flops and we give up. Some of us try longer, no results, we burn out and give up. (You get the idea.) We have an instant mindset.
One Scheme, Different Names
Switch the get-rich-quick schemes to the change-fast-and-easy schemes.
It would seem like most everyone in the professional field of self-help (or in that umbrella called self-development) has some advice, some tip, or some strategy that will help you get out of your slump of struggles, failures, and problems for the rest of your life. All you have to do is ________ and it will change your life forever. Change the mindset? Yes, been there. Done that. Found different. Gave up. Tried the next one. Gave up. Tried the other one. Gave up. Repeat.
Understanding the Connection
Mindset: The Tiny Bit Of Change
Somehow, we think that a tiny bit of change is going to overthrow the throne of our old habits, the reign of our usual routines, and the power of our choice without us having to lift a finger, so to speak. Somehow, we see the success of it in the books, the biographies, the testimonials, but when it comes to us, it just doesn’t work. In fact, there’s too much work involved to even get started. So why bother?
Who wants to change anyways? Sure, it looks appealing. It feels attractive. Change has a way that magnetizes our attention, at least for a little while. However, in the long run, we are creatures of habit. And would you know that the habits – or any mindset – are usually the ones we have a hard time letting go of, i.e. die-hard habits?
Mindset Case In Point
I wanted to revolutionize change in my life. That is, I would be an emotionally successful woman with emotional security, emotional independence, and emotional freedom. I read the books, hyped myself up for the changes in my life, and flopped out in failing misery before 14 days expired. Why? Because I couldn’t let go of old ways. It wasn’t that I couldn’t, but that I didn’t want to. I had a mindset that didn’t want to change. I liked my spontaneity (which disrupted diligence and dependability) and my variety (which looked more like scattered-brain distractions to everyone else). When I finally stripped away all the pseudo-pursuits that looked good to everyone else and peeled back the layers of my true desires, I reluctantly admitted that I liked my bad habits and they worked for me, at least in the short-term, very short-term.
The Key to Change Is The Root To Change
Time lapsed and I grew tired of these self-sabotaging ways. Eventually, I reckoned with myself that my perspectives needed a serious change. I could try all the new habit-changing strategies, but unless my attitude towards it changed, all exercises would end in miserable futility. I loathed the changes, but I trudged and dragged myself through them as I implemented new habits. Spontaneity became confined to list-making, variety to routine. The long struggle could have been shortened had I took a positive outlook, but I didn’t. Change dragged on. Slowly, I noticed small beneficial results. These would encourage me to implement more changes longer. Sure enough, I became to see the turn-around.
It would take several months more before I comfortably looked at change as a spontaneous variety in my life. Spontaneity and variety took their places in other areas of my life. I didn’t have to let go of them all together, I just couldn’t have them run my life.
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