Abuse: How do We Solve It? – Part 4/5

Alright, praise Yahweh, and we’re ready to begin our part four of our segment on abuse. And we need to discuss this uncomfortable topic today, two uncomfortable topics, but necessary topics to address.

Up until now, we have addressed the topic of verbal abuse toward children, verbal abuse between husbands and wives.

And in this segment we are going to look at forms of abuse being done to another person’s body, whether it be physical abuse or sexual abuse.

So in this study, we’re going to be kind of frankly discussing these two types of abuse, and for that reason, the study today may not be appropriate for children. I’ll leave that to your discretion.

Alright. So Yahweh created the human body to be a vessel. A vessel for accomplishing His will for us to glorify Him. He created our minds, our arms, our legs to be instruments of love, instruments of righteousness. That’s why He created the human body. And Scripture tells us that very thing. And so we’re going to be talking about the importance of using our bodies as instruments of love, instruments of righteousness.

Now if you’ve missed the first three parts—part one we talked about the importance of accountability as a way to resolve abuse. We discussed the English and Hebraic definitions of abusive behavior. We discussed the danger of someone being given absolute power with no accountability. Yahweh hates it when we take advantage of another person’s disadvantage. Yahweh Himself in fact is hurt when we choose to abuse others. Violence can actually be committed with our mouths as we bear false witness or falsely accuse someone. That’s actually considered to be a type of violence that hurts Yahweh Himself. That was part one.

Part two, we did an examination of the sin of verbal abuse toward children. If we are unable to rule our own spirit, we are vulnerable to saying things we should not say. Practicing outbursts of wrath can keep us from salvation. Anger is a form of control which changes our children’s behavior at first, but damages their heart and cannot produce the righteousness of Elohim.

I discussed how false accusation presents itself as a friend, but it destroys relationships. We examined the principles of righteous judgment. And how taking advantage of the weak and vulnerable is a spiritually dangerous activity. How hurtful words can provoke our children to wrath. The danger of word curses spoken to children and to others. The importance of building up self-worth in children, teaching them to love themselves, so they have a reference point to love their neighbor as themselves.

And then we went into part three, where I sought to put a fear of Elohim in couples who verbally abuse one another. The Scriptures discussing those who practice strife, not being able to inherit life. How husbands are to lead, not control. How verbally abusive husbands teach their wives and children that Yahushua is unloving and hurtful. And important counsel for children who live in homes with strife and arguing parents. And then we discussed how men, who have verbally abusive wives, are not given the green light to verbally abuse them in return. Yahushua chose to love the ones who hated Him. How wives can control and verbally abuse their husbands through accusing and through pressing, also known as nagging. Wives who rebel against Yahweh-given authority by trying to overthrow them with control are in great spiritual danger. Submission is evidence of trust in Yahweh, not man. Rebellion and nagging are like witchcraft and idolatry. And how Scripture says not even to eat with such a person who is willing to practice verbal abuse. Husbands and wives who practice verbal abuse are actually committing all seven abominations of Proverbs 6:16-19. And how we are each Yahweh’s workmanship. And we need to trust in Yahweh to do what He can do, for He can do a better job at reaching the heart than we can.

So that’s just parts one through three. And now we’re going into part four, where the abuse goes beyond the words and abuse goes into using these instruments, our hands and other parts of our body to verbally abuse one another. I’m talking about physical abuse.

We’re going to talk about physical abuse toward one’s spouse. Scripture says in Romans chapter 6 verse 13 – And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to Elohim as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to Elohim.

Now, I’ve happened to notice over the years that men who are physically larger than average and stronger than average, have just a greater tendency to be more violent. And I think it really starts back when they’re in childhood. They kind of threw their weight around, their large size to intimidate people, and so they kind of learned in their younger years to use their physical size to intimidate and control situations and control others. And so when they get married, if they have not been taught to respect women, they may carry that over into their family, and follow that same pattern using violence and the threat of violence to lead their wives and lead their children.

And then there are others who maybe aren’t particularly strong, maybe they’re kind of smallish, and they’ve been bullied when they were young. And so when it comes time for them to be the one in control, they then bully their wives and bully their children.

Now, every once in a while, I’ll get contacted by a woman who is being physically abused and battered by their husbands. Even in some cases abused by husbands that claim to be a believer in Yahweh. And the men have kind of taken this “I’m the patriarch” kind of attitude, and “I’m the master, I’m the king on the throne, no one tells me what to do, this is my house.”

And men who choose to do this are in clear violation of Scripture if they choose to use control. Scripture says that we are not to oppress one another. Leviticus 25:17 says – Therefore you shall not oppress one another, but you shall fear your Mighty One.

So when a man chooses to control his wife through physical abuse or verbal, it’s an act of oppression toward his wife. But Scripture says, “You shall fear your Mighty One,” in other words, there’s a higher authority than you, buddy, and He’s watching what you do.

Scripture says (Leviticus 19:13) – ‘You shall not oppress your neighbor, nor rob him. The wages of a hired man are not to remain with you all night until morning.’

The Torah also says (Leviticus 24:19-20) – ‘If a man causes disfigurement to his neighbor, as he has done, so shall it be done to him.
²⁰ ’fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; as he has caused disfigurement of a man, so shall it be done to him.’

So it’s a clear example of one human being physically abusing another human being. In such cases, the sentencing guidelines for judges in Israel, is to have done to him what he did to another.

I remember when I was a child, I was the older brother. I was not Yahweh-fearing. But I had a younger brother, four years younger than me, my only sibling, and anytime I thought about throwing my weight around, my brother would always say, “But then dad will do that to you.” And it kept me in check, okay?

So if you have a fear of Elohim, remember, you have an Elohim in heaven who is capable of putting you in a situation where such things are being done to you, and maybe worse. Also known as prison or jail time, where other men who may be bigger than you are will do things that you don’t want them to do to you.

So Yahweh wants us to love each other. And men are especially called to love their wives. And these Scriptures that speak of oppression, that speak of physical harm being done to one another, they are there because Yahweh wants us to walk in love.

And it’s not just between a man and a man, but especially a man toward a woman. Especially a man toward his wife. Ephesians 5:28-31 – So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Master does the assembly (church).
³⁰ For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

You are one flesh with your wife. So if you hurt your wife, you’re actually not only guilty of abusing your wife, you’re also guilty of abusing yourself, you’re guilty of abusing yourself. In fact, it’s a spirit akin to suicide and self-harm.

And it’s not only hurting your wife. It’s not only hurting yourself. It’s also hurting Yahushua. Imagine that. You are abusing the body of Yahushua when you abuse the body of your wife.

Matthew 25:40 says – “…inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you have done it to Me.”

Now Yahweh gave men physical strength so that we could work hard and do some jobs that a woman wouldn’t be able to do—heavy lifting, heavy labor, and also to protect our family from oppressors. He did not give us physical strength so that we could oppress and beat up our wives. It’s unconscionable. That’s taking advantage of someone’s disadvantage. The disadvantage is they’re physically weaker, and are therefore unable to defend themselves against a man’s physical strength. Men are called to protect their families from being abused. That is our responsibility.

And so men who choose to abuse are doing the very thing they’re required by Yahweh to protect their wives from. And in many cases, it’s bizarre, but the same men who abuse their wives physically would probably jump up and defend their wives if somebody else was going to do it. It’s crazy. “Oh, I can abuse them, but you can’t.” It’s crazy.

Now, it’s common in the religion of Islam, and sometimes among the Amish or Old Order Mennonite communities, for husbands actually take the liberty to physically discipline their wives. In fact, the Quran tells men to beat their wives if they fear disloyalty or ill conduct. It’s wrong. You might change the actions, but it’s not going to change the heart. It’s going to damage the heart.

Now, listen, children are disciplined so that we can properly prepare them for adulthood. Children do wrong things, but they live in a protective bubble, safely in their parents’ care. And that protective bubble shields them against natural life consequences for wrong behavior. The child wants to run out in the street, we may have to spank the child so they will learn not to run out in the street. So, we shield them against natural life consequences by giving them lighter consequences for wrong behavior.

And for that reason Yahweh wills that we provide those consequences for them so as to protect them, and that would include physical discipline. Because their young minds don’t always grasp the consequences of the decisions that they make.

Now, that becomes less needed, and therefore less necessary when they’re older. It’s also less effective, and more likely to damage their hearts rather than change their behavior. But young children are too young to reason in some moral issues, and for that reason, corporal punishment is appropriate. They eventually, however, get old enough to be reasoned with, and therefore will reach an age when they are too old to spank.

Now, wives are adults. They’re capable of being reasoned with, and they were too old to spank a long time ago. And men, I assure you, you will damage their hearts if you decide they need your discipline. You’re treating your wife like she’s a child, a young child, damaging her sense of worth as a human being. She came to you trusting in your love for her, and this is the end result?!

And there are some women who can be convinced to even give consent, but it will still damage their hearts, and it will damage your children’s hearts. It will also warp your children’s sense of a woman’s worth as they watch you hurt their mother. And when they’re older, they’ll have an embarrassing story about your abuse you probably don’t want repeated.

Listen, we are supposed to be treating our wives like Yahushua treats us, His disciples. Now, some say, “Well, Yahushua says He chastens those He loves.” Oh, okay. I just don’t remember Yahushua when, you know, Peter messed up, say, “Alright Peter, over my knee.” No. He gently and lovingly corrected them.

How about the women that followed him? Did He spank them like a child, or did He give them a choice? He gave them a choice. Yahushua was hands-off. He gave each adult human his own space, his own freedom, to make a choice as to whether they would follow Him or not follow Him. If it’s by force, there’s still no proof the person’s walking in righteousness because they walk in love. It’s just all coerced and forced and me made to do something. It doesn’t work.

Yahushua did no violence, Isaiah 53, verse 9. It says – And they made His grave with the wicked– But with the rich at His death, Because He had done no violence. – The whip of cords He got, I’m pretty sure that was to drive the animals out, not the humans, okay?

Now, when the disciples did wrong things, He didn’t spank, He spoke words of wisdom. (Mark 9:33-35) – Then He came to Capernaum. And when He was in the house He asked them, “What was it you disputed among yourselves on the road?”
³⁴ But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. – Because He just told them He was going to be dying, and so they started arguing about who’s going to be the greatest. –
³⁵ And He sat down, – and He put them over His knee, and He says ‘don’t be…’ No, He never did that. He – called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”

So don’t resort to attempts to control your wife. Speak humbly. Speak from the Holy Spirit. Speak in such a way that no one can resist the words of wisdom you humbly speak. Just as Stephen was given words. Acts chapter 6, verse 9. It says – Then there arose from what’s called the Synagogue of Freedmen (Cyrenians, Alexandrians, those from Cilicia and Asia), disputing with Stephen.
¹⁰ And they were not able – they were not able – to resist the wisdom and the Spirit by which he spoke. – And then you want to pray for her, that Yahweh gives you those words in humility and truth. Don’t browbeat with the Scriptures, don’t browbeat with the sword. Gentle words of wisdom.

Because if the Spirit and wisdom that comes from Yahweh doesn’t change her heart, I assure you spanking her like a child is not going to change her heart. Use wisdom. (James 3:13-15) –Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
¹⁴ But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
¹⁵ This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.
¹⁶ For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, – love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, gentleness, – without partiality and without hypocrisy.
¹⁸ Now the fruit of righteousness is sown – Through conflict? Through arguing and strife and debates? And I’m bigger than you, so let me spank you? No, – in peace by those who make peace.

We are making peace between a human being who is not in peace, at peace with Yahweh, and reconciling them to Yahweh, bringing shalom. And so our goal is to lead our families in the gentle wisdom of Yahweh, just as Yahushua led His disciples. To control our wives with violence is simply evil. Do not practice this evil. And I say, disassociate from those who would counsel you to do so.

Proverbs 24 verses 1 through 3 says – Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them;
² For their heart devises violence, – violence – And their lips talk of troublemaking.
³ Through wisdom a house is built, – not violence – And by understanding it is established; –Dwell with your wives with understanding, Scripture says. And –
⁴ By knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. – Isn’t that beautiful, brothers and sisters? You see, –
⁵ A wise man is strong, – not necessarily strong as he’s going to beat up everybody, but strong spiritually, able to withstand mistreatment, able to withstand disrespect, because he sees all things with wisdom. – a man of knowledge increases strength; – And if you can’t find wisdom in yourself, seek wise counsel. And with that –
⁵ …wise counsel you will wage your own war, And in a multitude of counselors there is safety.

So rather than building your house with violence, build it with wisdom. By knowledge it will be filled with the riches of Yahweh’s love and grace. And rather than using the strength of your hands to bully your wife into submission, use the strength of wisdom.

If you’re frustrated by your wife’s actions, rather than looking to violence, look to counselors. Let it be the wise counsel of the wise that guide you when you lack the wisdom of how to handle things on your own.

And this takes us back to the first segment where we talked about accountability. If a man pursues absolute power over his family and refuses to be accountable to anyone other than themselves, this is where abuse is likely to take place. Because absolute power corrupts absolutely. And we are all called to be accountable.

In Scripture, the assembly is governed by elders. 1 Timothy 5:17 – Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine. – They rule well. Who is the elder that you have chosen to be accountable to, to allow the place of authority in your life, men? Well, in the same way Scripture commands wives to be submissive, it also says that we are to be submissive. Submit yourself to every ordinance of man.

(Hebrews 13:17) – Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, – Who are the elders that rule over you, men? The ones that – watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. – And ladies, your husbands are in a position of headship. This is for you too.

1 Thessalonians 5:12 says – And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you – over you – in the Master and admonish you,
¹³ and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.

So if you want to be in shalom among yourselves, be accountable. Be accountable. Let the men who Yahweh has placed in positions of eldership have a place in your life. It’s for your benefit. It’s for your benefit and for the benefit of your family. I’m not just talking about any old elder, I’m talking about people that are qualified elders.

Now, even the elders themselves are appointed. Titus 1 verse 5 says – I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you. – And the elders must meet certain qualifications and have certain spiritual gifts to function in the position of elder. They must have the gift of teaching, the gift of hospitality, the gift of admonition, and the gift of administrations. And yes, they’re to be accountable also.

As I said in the first segment, we all are accountable. Any abuse going on can be resolved by a network of accountability in our lives.

Do not allow your frustrations to turn into abuse. Yes, it may not be easy to change your habits, but it’s absolutely imperative that you do. You cannot willfully practice transgression of the law by oppressing and abusing your wife and still call yourself a believer. I showed you in Scripture why it’s wrong, and now you know.

You know, Yahushua, He had more power than any human being on the planet. He never used that power to harm His disciples when they were out of line.

It is not the role of leaders to subdue others into submission. The husband is the shepherd of his home. Kepha writes (1 Peter 5:2-3) – Shepherd the flock of Elohim which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly;
³ nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock;

That word translated “lord” means “to bring under one’s power, to subject oneself, subdue, master, hold in subjection, to be master of, and exercise lordship over.”

(Matthew 20:25-28) – But Yahushua called the disciples to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over – the same word, lord it over – them, and those who are great exercise authority over them.
²⁶ ”Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. – Help your wife. Help your children. Serve them, make the environment to be such an environment that is conducive to them wanting to do the right thing. Serve them, help them to do the right thing. The best leaders are those who are helping those under them do their job. –
²⁷ “And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave–
²⁸ “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

That’s leadership. Notice He says that we need to be like the Son of Man who led by example in services as opposed to forcibly placing others under power. The role of a husband is to lead in this manner as Messiah gave example.

If a wife is only making the right choices because she is forced to, you are not helping her. You are not helping her relationship with Yahweh to grow. The goal is that the wife will do what’s right and that you will do what’s right because you willingly submit yourself to Yahweh. Many who control their wives are placing themselves in the position of Elohim. You are overstepping your bounds.

Also, Scripture tells us to (1 Peter 2:13-14) – submit ourselves to every ordinance of man for the Master’s sake, whether to the king as supreme
¹⁴ or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. – The Scriptures never command a husband to subdue his wife with the rod or to hit her. Never! So even if you think you are justified, you are not. Because you are commanded to submit yourself to every ordinance of man and the ordinances of men right now in America—you lay a hand on your wife, you can go to jail for it, period.

And if a man is unwilling to change and he is wanting control to abuse his family, I do sometimes recommend law enforcement. With some kind of accountability that an assembly cannot provide, an assembly cannot force a man to do things, they might be able to put the wife and children in hiding, but some husbands will continue to see their role as a dictator with no accountability, and they’ll stop once they realize they can no longer get away with it and the threat of criminal charges become possible.

However, other husbands have difficulty controlling themselves and have no desire to abuse their family, but they have a hard time with self-control. And if your husband has a problem with self-control, he may need to do things to demonstrate he’s going to stop the behavior before being trusted to be in a position where he has the capability of doing such a thing.

So in extreme cases, I do think that a wife needs to be in a place of protection. Because there are husbands that will actually murder their wife in order to prevent them from calling the police. So in these cases, I suggest doing a disappearing act at the appropriate time, perhaps in a battered women’s shelter or similar facility. In fact, we have provided protection for women at times who were being physically abused and we took a tremendous amount of heat for it. But we are required by Yahweh to protect those being oppressed.

Now, a home that is filled with domestic violence, that’s a terrible example for children. It hurts them to hear and to see the things they hear and they see. If it’s left unchecked, look, young men may be tempted to do the same thing to their future wives. This is because they have not seen how to respond, how to relate to their wives Biblically. And if they are daughters, they may have difficulty trusting in Yahweh later in life because the only male authority figure they’ve known that was damaging.

So if you are a wife who is being physically abused and oppressed, please take this into consideration before putting up with more abuse. It’s not just about you. It’s about the example being set for your children and the damage that’s being done to them.

And there are some wives have difficulty. They think, “If I only did this right, if I only did that right, then my husband would change. It was my fault.” It is never your fault, ever, ever, ever your fault that your husband does the things he does. We are all, each of us, accountable to Yahweh for our decisions.

And no one can be blamed but the one making the decision. Even if someone put a gun to your husband’s head and says, “beat your wife,” he shouldn’t do it because that would be a sin against Yahweh. You understand? It’s no one’s fault but the one practicing the harm.

Do not blame yourself and do not allow them to blame you. On Judgment Day, we are all responsible for our own decisions, period.

Now, we’re going to talk about when spanking becomes child abuse. Scripture does say that corporal punishment is appropriate toward children. It says (Proverbs 23:13-14) – Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
¹⁴ You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from the grave.

Now, there are some who teach the term “rod” doesn’t really mean an instrument with which you strike someone. However, that belief is not possible to reconcile with these verses here. This is talking about beating with a rod. Now, there are some who teach that “rod” doesn’t mean “rod,” but it means “rod.”

Now, spanking is not to be done in a punitive way. You’re not running a penal institution where, “Here’s the crime and here’s the response to that crime,” okay? You’re talking relationships here. The inmates at a prison don’t have to have a good relationship with the guards, but we have to have a good relationship with our children. And we need to always remember, “How will it affect our relationship with the child.” The purpose of spanking is to help them develop good habits, give them natural consequences for behavior, especially behaviors that could cause them great harm when they’re adults.

It needs to be accompanied with reproof, not just spanking, but also take the time to reason with them. (Proverbs 29:15) – The rod and rebuke give wisdom… – Both together. Spanking by itself does not make the child necessarily want to serve Yahweh. It’s just a tool to force the young child to do right behavior, whether they want to or not. And that in turn establishes a habit in their life of doing what’s right, and makes it easier for them to do the right thing as they get older.

And it teaches them there are consequences for doing wrong. And since that’s already how Yahweh operates, and even the world itself operates under the rule of law, it establishes a concept in a child’s mind, “Yes, there are consequences for doing wrong, and there are blessings for doing right.” And if you don’t provide any kind of consequences for wrong behavior, they will meet consequences when they meet law enforcement as an adult.

Now, if you’re only spanking for a power trip, or “I’m bigger than you, that’s why,” it only causes that child to want to do the same thing when they’re big enough or old enough. Or it just damages the heart and leads them to kind of temptations just to choose rebellion when they’re old enough to no longer be spanked. And so they’re actually being trained to do the opposite of what you are wanting them to do—pushing them in the wrong direction.

And so while spanking is a Biblically sanctioned form of punishment, there are times when spanking can become abuse. If you’re spanking out of retaliation because you’re personally hurt or offended by the child’s disobedience, don’t do it. And don’t spank until you can detach yourself from the situation emotionally and approach it with love and with reason and self-control.

If the spanking’s done in conjunction with verbal abuse, it’s wrong. When a child does not know what they did wrong, that’s abusive. And the child’s falsely accused, that’s abusive. Or anything that would cause lasting harm to a child’s body would become abusive.

Now you might wonder, what do I mean by “lasting harm?” Anything that would cause hurt to a child long-term. But how long-term? Well, I know in my state of Missouri, spanking is permissible unless it leaves a mark on the child’s body. Because Scripture says to submit myself to every ordinance of man, and I’m not required by Yahweh to put a mark on my child’s body. I simply obey that ordinance and spank in such a way that does not leave any marks on my child’s body.

Now, having your child taken away from you because you left a mark on your child’s body can do tremendous damage to them. So it’s better just to follow the ordinance than to face child abuse charges and have your children taken away from you.

You don’t have to leave a mark on your child’s body in order for them to be properly disciplined. The goal of spanking is to provide some kind of firm boundary so they will be motivated to develop good habits. Habits that have the potential to affect them for the rest of their life.

So, if you do the spanking improperly, you’re going to damage the heart, you’re going to provoke them to anger. And spanking a child out of carnal anger only provokes them to anger and causes them to feel bullied rather than corrected. Spanking a child in conjunction with verbal abuse only causes them to feel hurt all the more and unloved. And if a child is falsely accused or doesn’t know what they did wrong, it causes them to feel wronged. And that only provokes them once again rather than trains them to develop good habits.

So we have boundaries. We have to walk in love. Love does no harm to a neighbor. We must walk in love toward our children. And we need to communicate our spanking or our consequences we’re providing is not out of hate. We don’t hate them, we don’t even dislike them. We know they’re children, and sometimes the children will do something they shouldn’t do. It’s normal. We did the same thing when we were kids. We did things we shouldn’t do. It’s normal.

So your child should not be made to feel as though they’re unusually terrible or anything that would cause them to be damaged in their hearts. So you understand, we ourselves as adults sometimes do wrong things too. But you’re going to try to help them to not make the wrong decisions by providing a deterrent, by providing a consequence. So that when they get older, they will have good habits, and it’s easier to do what’s right. That simple. Alright.

Now I’m going to talk about sexual abuse. All abuse is ugly. I don’t care if it’s verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse. It’s all ugly. But the most damaging and the ugliest of all abuses is sexual abuse. And this is even more true if it’s by the very people who are supposed to love and nurture.

Parents are called to be Elohim’s representation in their young lives and the ideal example of what a child is to aspire to be one day. And so this kind of abuse happening to a child causes tremendous damage and adds on top of that pile of confusion in their young minds.

Children ought to be learning to be riding bikes, and playing and dancing outside in the breeze, and learning and exploring the simple things of life. They shouldn’t be learning and exploring the things that are only supposed to be taking place between a man and his wife.

Sexual abuse is taking advantage of someone’s disadvantage. Children are vulnerable not only because they’re smaller in size but because they’re also more easily manipulated or coerced into participating in those acts without a fight. And so when they get older and they realize what they had been taken advantage of, they struggle to process that because they didn’t fight it. But they were susceptible to feeling intimidated by those in their lives they were told to respect.

And so when they get older and they realize what had happened to them, they are susceptible to carrying this false guilt over their young minds because of the hard time they have with blaming a caregiver or blaming an older person who they’ve been told all their lives to respect.

And then there’s the fact that something innocent has been stolen from them. They no longer have that innocence. And that very first sexual experience was supposed to be with their spouse, not a caregiver, not anyone else. It is a tremendous act of betrayal.

Children are supposed to be loved with their hearts directed toward purity, toward holiness, toward uprightness. Instead, they’re taught fornication. They’re taught incest. They’re taught defilement. And they’re taught they have little value. And their purity has little value. It’s sick. It’s ugly, and probably one day, sadly, will be normalized in our licentious culture. We can see the beginnings of that happening already.

Listen brothers, we need to protect our children from this. We need to guard them even if we offend people. We need to be on guard against letting your children spend the night with other families, even if you trust them. It’s better to offend someone else than to risk your child being the one offended and your child being victimized.

This very weekend, I’m showing a movie here in our theater called “Trafficked: A Parent’s Worst Nightmare.” Based on true stories, a 16-year-old girl thinks she’s going to meet up with some handsome boy on social media. She gets into his nice Camaro.

And while he is a handsome young man, the man simply drives her somewhere and sells her into sex slavery. That easy, that simple. And there, she is controlled with threats to harm her family and with highly addictive drugs. Don’t think this is just a rare incident. At the end of the movie, it states that 700,000 to 900,000 women and girls are trafficked every year. They disappear, the police just thinks it’s a runaway situation, and you never hear from them again.

And sometimes it’s the powers that be, the politicians, the law enforcement even, that kind of look the other way in exchange for sexual favors. This is an epidemic in our nation and a sign that this nation is getting closer and closer to the highest possible form of moral depravity and decadence. And I don’t think it’s going to be much longer before some levels of this, especially in the area of homosexuality, will be legalized. And we need to be thinking about that.

Now, those of us who are believers in Yahweh, I really hope I don’t even have to talk about this. But I have heard, I’ve never heard of people of our faith running a human trafficking ring, but a number of years ago, there was a man who married a woman who already had a young daughter and she reached about 12 years of age. And that man became attracted to the 12-year-old daughter. He claimed to be a believer in Yahweh. And he was sending her love letters and ended up running off with her. While law enforcement was contacted, they hunted for him, I ended up actually creating a website to help facilitate finding her. And eventually they traced him to a hotel in Oklahoma. And when confronted with law enforcement, they heard gunfire. Thankfully, she ran out of the hotel room unharmed; he fatally shot himself in the head.

Now, I cannot imagine the trauma that this young girl went through. She was innocent, and he either justified it somehow in his mind or just gave up trying to be a servant of Yahweh and chose the darker side. Now, I know there is no force on earth quite like the force of sexual attraction. I think pornography plays a role in leading people into more and more deviant forms of attraction. Men will get tired of women, they look to younger and younger, or they start lusting after other men or boys.

Listen, pornography is a curse on our nation and a major contributor toward the oppression of women and children. Pornography in itself is an act of oppression toward women. Men are called to be leading women into using their bodies for holiness, uprightness, and purity. And if men were actually doing that in America, there would be no pornography.

I shouldn’t have to tell anyone among us—don’t sexual abuse your children or any other children. But for anyone in the sound of my voice who might somehow be justifying your sick actions, I have a message for you. First of all, the transgression of the Torah, to take a woman and her daughter, well, that eliminates any child who might happen to be in your household, you’re married to their mother. I don’t care if they’re natural-born children or not.

Secondly, such actions are no different than rape. That’s why they call it “statutory rape” because children and teens don’t really have the mental capacity to make an informed decision in this area. In fact, Yahweh placed men in a position to have the right of refusal so that the child will make good decisions in this area. It’s also taking advantage of someone’s lack of knowledge to feed your own carnal desire.

Now, the United States law puts the age of consent at age 18. I put it at age 20. In fact, I put the age of consent to be however old someone happens to be on the day they get married. But what’s the actual minimum age for marriage? I’m going to demonstrate to you from Scripture, the minimum age for marriage is not 18, it’s 20.

I want to first examine the Hebrew word “taph.” And I’ll explain why I’m doing this at the end of this, okay? Numbers 14:31, it says – ‘But your little ones – <#2945 “taph”> –, whom you said would be victims, I will bring in, and they shall know the land which you have despised.’

The context here is the children of Israel are being told they’re going to have to go around for 40 years in the desert until the older generation dies off, and then the younger generation will be allowed to live, and they will inherit the land. The Hebrew word for those who are younger than 20 years of age translated “little ones,” but the Hebrew word is “taph,” and it does not necessarily mean “little toddlers.” In fact, let’s continue looking.

Actually verse 29 says – The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, All of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from 20 years old and above. – So the ones who are under 20 years of age are called “taph.”

Such persons are regarded as having, actually lacking the proper knowledge of good and evil. Deuteronomy 1:39 – ‘Moreover your little ones, – your “taph,” “taphim,” – and your children, – sons – who you say will be victims, who today have no knowledge of good and evil, they shall go in there; to them I will give it, and they shall possess it. – So those who are “taph” are those who have not yet developed properly the knowledge of good and evil. And for that reason they lack proper knowledge to enter into a serious covenant, such as one of marriage, and then to lead a family.

So this generation that was in the wilderness did not have proper knowledge of good and evil. They’re not ready to be married. If you don’t have proper knowledge of good and evil, how can you lead a family?

Now, the Hebrew word for “taph”, says “children, little children, little ones, perhaps referring to tripping gait of children,” “little ones” 29 times, “children” 12 times, “families” once. But regardless of the exact meaning, one thing is clear—it’s exclusively used to reference someone under the age of 20.

And a person who is 20 years or older would have been counted as a separate family according to the census, Numbers chapter 1 in verse 2, they – “Take a census of all the congregation of Israel, by their families, by their fathers’ houses, according to the number of names, every male individually,
³ “from twenty years old – from twenty years old – and above– all who are able to go to war in Israel. – So, the age for war was lowered to 18 in America because they wanted to have more warriors. But the Biblical age is age 20.

Now, during that first year of marriage, Yahweh commands that a man would not be charged with going to war. It says (Deuteronomy 24:5) – When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war. – We’re talking about a man, not talking about a “taph.” We’re talking about a man. A man’s not a man until he’s 20 years of age. I don’t care what American law says. They may say 18, Yahweh says 20. When a man takes a new wife, he should not go out to war – and be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.

So, if an 18-year-old decides to get married in Israel, why is he being told not to go to war? He can’t go to war. He’s not a man yet. And so, something clearly significant takes place when a person reaches the age of 20. They’re no longer among the “taph” and they become a man and they become a woman. That’s where we go from childhood to adulthood. There is no other indication in Scripture as to when that would be. No Scripture even hints at age 16, 18, 19, it’s all age 20.

And (Genesis 2:24) – therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh – at age 20. They become an “ish,” a man. Nowhere in Scripture do we find a “taph” leaving his parents and getting married. I can’t find a single place in Scripture where a woman who is in a category of under age 20 ever got married.

In every case “taph” is distinguished from men and women. Deuteronomy 2:34, so – We took all his cities at that time, and we utterly destroyed the men, women and the (little ones) – “taph.”

(Exodus 12:37) – Then the children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides – “taph,” “taphim,” – children – <#2945 taph>.

(Deuteronomy 31:12) – Gather the people together, men and women and (little ones) – “taphim,” “taph,” – and the stranger who is within your gates that they may hear and learn to fear Yahweh your Mighty One and carefully observe all the words of this law. – So, there’s three categories of human beings here.

Jeremiah 40 verse 7 – And when all the captains of the armies who were in the fields, they and their men, heard that the king of Babylon had made Gedaliah the son of Ahakim governor in the land, and had committed to him men, women, (children) – and then “taph” – and the poorest of the land who had not been carried away captive to Babylon.

And so, persons who are “taph” are considered to be a separate class of people under 20 years of age. “Little ones” is not an accurate translation. It doesn’t mean “little.” It basically would mean “teenagers and children, little children” since “taph” is used to describe a group of people under 20 years of age.

Now, if you look in secular history of Jewish and Christian people, both of them made a habit of marrying even teenage girls and sometimes early teenage girls. Even in our own country, it’s still legal for an adult man to marry a 15-year-old in some states, as long as there’s parental permission. But I cannot find a single example in Scripture where a teenager got married.

In the New Testament, Paul indicates someone must be of certain age to get married. It says – 1 Corinthians 7:36 – If any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, – past the flower of youth – and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.

So, if you think someone’s behaving improperly toward your virgin daughter, if she’s past the flower of youth, if she’s an adult, then you can let them get married. Now, the word, Greek word here (G5230 ὑπέρακμος hupĕrakmŏs {hoop-er’-ak-mos}), used to describe “flower of youth,” means “beyond the bloom or prime of life, overripe, plump, and ripe.” The word has to do with something that’s ripe or overripe.

Some mistakenly thought that term flower is in reference to the King James Version-description of a woman in her menstrual cycle, but that’s not what’s going on here at all. It says yes, (Leviticus 15:24) – …her flowers shall be upon him,… – That is the old King-James-Version way of referring to what comes out of a woman’s body during her menstrual cycle, okay? But, that is not related to this word, “hupĕrakmŏs”, okay? “Hupĕrakmŏs” is two words together “over or beyond a point of extremity, climax, highest degree.” So, a person is at their highest degree of maturity when they reach adulthood. They can’t get any more adult than they are age 20.

And so, if you consider the growth of a child, 20 years of age would make sense to be that point where they’re now fully grown and they’re not going to be growing anymore and they are fully adults. Even if a person may have reached physical maturity, there’s also a certain level of mental maturity that has to be reached.

Now, science actually says that a person’s brain continues to develop until they’re 25 years of age. But, since Yahweh does allow marriage between people 20 years and older, He has judged a person’s mind to be sufficiently developed to handle marriage and family, especially when the father has right of refusal in case they make a wrong decision. Now, in seeking out a marriage partner, Yahweh gave parents that right of refusal, right? 1 Corinthians 7:36 “Let them do it.” In other words, allow the marriage to happen. The parents have the authority to allow their children to marry or to not allow their children to marry.

Now, children, listen. Your parents don’t have the right to choose the spouse, but they do have a right of refusal if they think the person is going to be a harmful person to marry, okay? That’s for your protection. That’s for your benefit.

Now, it’s not for parents to be able to control their children and keep them at home longer, and you know, that can be misused. And hopefully elders are present to keep everybody in check.

Another example here, Ezekiel 16:4-6, it says – “As for your nativity, on the day that you were born – Talking about Israel allegorically here. – your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; nor were you rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling clothes.
⁵ “No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born.
⁶ “And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’
⁷ “I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare. – Now later, after this time period, He says –
⁸ “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; – It says after puberty is over. – So I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Master Yahweh.

So Yahweh did not enter into that covenant with her for marriage during that time that her breasts were formed and her hair grew. It was after that time. Again, adulthood. So when He later passes by again, she’s adulthood, it’s time for love, once again it appears a time to be entering into marriage, past the point of being a “taph.” Once a person’s past that point, they’re fully accountable, are able to enter into a marriage covenant as a man or as a woman. And so the full counsel of Scripture from one end to the other, again, points to 20 years of age as the appropriate age for marriage.

Now young people, you may find it difficult to wait until you’re 20. But this is an opportunity for you to develop the discipline and self-control you’re going to need to be faithful to your future spouse.

It’s also a time for young people to really learn about themselves and discover what kind of vision and purpose Yahweh has for their lives, and demonstrate that they’re not going to be rebellious at age 18 and run out of the house. You don’t want to marry someone who does that anyway, unless they’ve completely repented and truly turned back to Yahweh. But whomever they marry, you want it to be someone that will complement your vision and your purpose in life and you just need time to develop what that’s going to be.

Now I’ve said all these things because I want to say this. If you are allowing your heart to lust for a person under the age of 20, you are committing sexual abuse in your heart. A person under the age of 20 is just as off-limits as a man lusting for another man, or a man lusting for a beast, or a man lusting for his own sister, or his own mother. It’s off-limits. It’s forbidden. Persons under the age of 20 are forbidden.

In the same way, lusting after an adult woman is adultery in your heart. Lusting after an adult woman is fornication in your heart. Lusting after a person under the age of 20 is sexual abuse and fornication and adultery in your heart. And so girls are completely forbidden and under a place of protection until adulthood. Give it up. Reject it in the name of Yahushua.

And in light of this, pornography websites with 18 and 19 year old girls are promoting the sexual abuse of “taph,” or “taphim,” children. I don’t care if the world says 18 is the magic age in their mind of adulthood, Scripture says different.

And so, as I’ve said before, pornography sites with adult females are also promoting sexual abuse but it’s of women. It’s wrong. It’s the same spirit behind it all. The doctrine being promoted is that women and girls are just objects for a man’s pleasure rather than human beings. The worth of a woman or a girl is not based on the pleasure she gives a man with her physical appearance. That is a damnable idea.

Carnal men, you need to align yourselves with the mind of Yahweh. Yahweh does not look at the outward appearance, He looks at the heart. When He looks at the female gender, He sees a soul worth saving. He sees a heart worth loving and healing. He sees a heart worth cleansing. Every woman and girl He created is worthy of being respected, valued, and cherished.

Yahushua, who died for each and every one of them, proved that.

So boys, men, listen to me. Don’t look at the outward appearance, as distracting as it may be. Instead, focus on the person, their hearts, who they really are, not what they are, who they are. Not what they do to feed your carnal desires, but who they are in Yahweh’s eyes. And when you get married, then you can enjoy the outward appearance all you want to.

If you are married, if that feeling of lust toward a female other than your wife rises up in your heart, just redirect all that energy into the one that Yahweh gave you to love, to nurture. That’s who it’s for. No one else.

If you’re unmarried, learn to bring that body of yours into subjection. That’s what Paul did as a single man. It takes discipline. He says (1 Corinthians 9:27) – But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

And remember, this body you’re living in is just a temporary house. It’s full of all kinds of wicked lusts and carnal desires, selfish ambitions.

Scripture says it’s dead. Colossians 3 verse 2 says – Set your mind on things above, not on things of the earth.
³ For you died, and your life is hidden with Messiah in Elohim. – Get that, you died right there. You already died, you’re dead. Your flesh it’s over. Don’t say, “Well, I rose back up again that day.” No. You died. Believe that. Receive it. Live it as though it is. And –
⁴ When Messiah who is our life – He is our life – appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
⁵ Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. – All of these things center around sexual lust. So –

(Romans 6:1-3) – What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?
² Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?
³ Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Messiah Yahushua were baptized into His death? – You died to sin. –
⁴ Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Messiah was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in the newness of life.
⁵ For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection,
⁶ knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him – We joined in Messiah’s body. – that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. At one time you could not control your sin, now you can. –
⁷ For he who has died has been freed from sin. – You have to believe that. Do you believe that? Do you believe that Scripture is true? Do you believe that Scripture is true? We who died, we’ve been freed from sin. If you believe that’s true, there isn’t any sin you won’t be able to overcome. By faith. Not by physical strength but by faith. If we died with Messiah, we believe that we also shall live with Him. –
⁸ Now if we died with Messiah, we believe that we also shall live with Him,
⁹ knowing that Messiah, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him.
¹⁰ For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to Elohim. – That’s you, you live to Elohim now. –
¹¹ Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to Elohim in Messiah Yahushua our Master. – Because of this –
¹² Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. – Don’t allow it to reign. Let Yahushua reign. –
¹³ And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to Elohim as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to Elohim.

And so we’ve come full circle. Yahweh gave us our bodies to be instruments of righteousness. That’s the bottom line. We have to possess our vessels in sanctification, in honor.

(1 Thessalonians 4:3-6) – For this is the will of Elohim, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;
⁴ that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
⁵ not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know Elohim; – That’s why they produce those websites. –
⁶ that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother – by taking advantage of his brother’s daughter. – in this matter, because Yahweh is the avenger of all such, – Yahweh is the avenger of all such, – as we forewarned you and testified.

So being that our bodies are dead, all the passions of wrongful lusts that it has are dead also. If it were not for wrongful lusts, there would not be sexual abuse.

And so I’m trying to get to the core of the matter here. All abuse is ugly. But this form of abuse is a sin against a child. It’s a sin against your own body. And it’s a sin against the body of Yahushua.

1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. – You get that? You sin against your own body. Your own body you sin against. Don’t you realize –
¹⁹ …that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from Elohim, and you are not your own? – You don’t even belong to yourself. What are you doing using your body for sin? That body does not belong to you. You are not your own. –
²⁰ For you were bought at a price; – The price of Yahushua’s blood. – therefore glorify Elohim in your body and in your spirit, which are His.

We’re supposed to glorify Yahweh with our bodies and using the instruments of righteousness. Not instruments to inflict painful memories on a child, that could damage them for the rest of their lives. Remember, their body is a temple of the Holy Spirit too. You’re going to sin against Yahweh’s temple? And that Yahweh is the avenger of such and He has people in place to avenge the sin of sexual abuse.

Romans 13:3-4 – For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. – Those men are Elohim’s ministers to us for our good. But if we do evil, look out. They don’t bear the sword in vain. Yahweh can use them to execute wrath on the one practicing these evils.

Luke 17:1 – Then He said to His disciples, – Yahushua said, – “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they come!
² “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.” – Yahushua cares.

The companion verse here in Matthew is interesting. He says the same thing here basically. But then He adds (Matthew 18:8-10) – If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into everlasting fire.
⁹ “And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.
¹⁰ “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, – He reiterates. He starts with the little ones and He ends with the little ones. Saying, – for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.

I think it may very well be Yahushua actually was speaking of sexual abuse here. It’s all regarding acts done to children, the hand, the eye, and the feet going places they had no business going. The angels of children always see the face of Yahweh who’s in heaven and so nothing, if nothing else will motivate you, I hope a fear of Elohim will, and a fear of Him using the authorities in this life to avenge the evil done.

Our bodies are not our own and therefore it’s important that we not only care for and treat our own bodies with respect, we must also be respectful of another person’s body also.

Taking advantage of someone’s disadvantage is the central reason why oppression takes place.

It’s why Israel was defenseless against the Egyptians, why the fatherless and the widow were vulnerable to being oppressed, and why David’s son Amnon was able to take advantage of his sister. 2 Samuel 13:1-3 says – After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
² Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.
³ But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.
⁴ And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar my brother Absalom’s sister.”
⁵ So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.’”
¹¹ Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said, “Come, lie with me my sister.”
¹² And she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!
¹³ And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” – I think he would, but he was just trying to convince him. –
¹⁴ However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, – Taking advantage of her disadvantage. – he forced her and lay with her. – And then the most amazing thing happens. –
¹⁵ Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, – The truth was he hated her the entire time. But – the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”

What happened here, was this unclean spirit of lust was so strong in this man Amnon, he seemed to be willingly controlled by it. And really, it kind of all started with David. David set the example in his household of taking advantage of a vulnerable person, by taking Bathsheba for himself and then killing her husband. This set off a chain of events that reverberated throughout the rest of his life as a king. He allowed lust to cause him to oppress. That same spirit of oppression, in conjunction with lust, affected his firstborn son Amnon. And David didn’t seem to do anything about Amnon’s sin once he found out about it. Maybe because he himself felt guilty for setting such a bad example in that area.

But then that upset his other son Absalom. Absalom ended up killing the rapist Amnon. And then Absalom stole the heart of Israel and turned away from David, and took the kingship for a while. And then Absalom lay with David’s concubines on the very roof that David used to lust after Bathsheba. It all came full circle. It all started with David’s willingness to look at pornography. Live pornography, in this case. Voyeurism.

Don’t go there. Men, young men, boys, listen. It’ll take you places you never thought you would go, both in your behavior and the consequences you will have in your life. And men, it can affect your sons also. It’s not worth it.

But in all these things, I’ve spoken regarding the different forms of abuse—verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, all those forms of oppression, while I hope that I have successfully put a proper fear of Yahweh in your heart, if you are among those who might choose to abuse. What I really hope would be the motivating factor in your lives isn’t necessarily fear of consequences. It’s love.

(Romans 13:10) – Love does no harm to a neighbor. – Love does no harm to a neighbor. Love does no harm to your wife, love does no harm to your children. Therefore, if you call yourself a Torah keeper and you do harm to your family members or to others, you’re not a Torah keeper.

You cannot be a Torah keeper if you’re doing that which is harmful to another. All abuse is doing harm to another. And I hope that after we’ve seen the dangers of walking in abuse, and what Yahweh says about it, that we will look to something that should turn out to be a far greater motivator than the fear of consequences, and that’s love.

If you love your child, how could you ever do them harm? Here they are. They didn’t ask to be born. They didn’t ask to have you as their parent. Their minds are so much purer than our own. They’re so full of wonder at this world Yahweh has created for them to enjoy. Don’t do them harm, love them, nurture them. Smile at them and enjoy being there in their precious presence as a loving parent.

The world is already full of grief. Already full of hurt. Already full of lust. Already full of hurting people. Let’s allow our children’s lives to be filled with love. That will soften the blow when they get older and they experience the hurts of this world. If you hurt them and others hurt them, you are giving them a miserable existence. Love them. They will need all the love they can get. Show them that Yahweh, the Elohim that we serve, is an Elohim of love; in fact, He is love.

Spank them but don’t hurt their hearts. Let it all be done in love. Love them. Show respect for their boundaries. They’ll learn to respect that they can have boundaries. They’re human beings, just like you. And they’ll be an adult one day. And they’re important and they’re valued.

In all that I have said during these four segments, what I really want you to hear is my call for you to walk in love. And when others aren’t being loving to us, it’s hard for you to love them, then draw on that love that comes from Yahweh, and let it flow through you and to them. It’s their only hope. It’s our only hope.

Love is truly our only hope. And Yahweh gives it to us in abundance. Share it. Live it. Model it at all its heights, and widths, and lengths, and depths.

O Yahweh, at this moment I bow my heart to You, Father of our Master Yahushua, from whom all the whole family in heaven and earth is named.

O Yahweh, grant those in the sound of my voice, according to the riches of Your glory, strengthen them with Your might through Your Spirit in the inner man, that Yahushua HaMashiach may dwell in their hearts through faith, being rooted and grounded in love. Rooted and grounded in love. That all may be able to comprehend this love, the width, the length, the depth, the height, that all might know the love of Yahushua HaMashiach flowing through Him from Your awesome throne. A love that surpasses all knowledge and so-called human wisdom.

Fill us with Your fullness, O Yahweh, and do Your good pleasure, exceedingly abundantly above everything that we could possibly ask or possibly think, through Your power working in us. All to the praise of Your glory. And to all generations— fathers, mothers, children, everyone. Let us all be united together in unity. And then behold how good and how pleasant it is when we dwell together in unity.

And we know there is no unity until we are at one with You, Father. Draw us all together to be one, just as Yahushua prayed, as You are one with Messiah, let us be one with You. That You may be one in us and in our generations forever and ever.

In Yahushua’s great name we pray, for truly Yours is the Kingdom and the power and the glory and the majesty forever. In Yahushua’s great name we pray, Amein.

Now, in our next segment, I’m going to talk to those of you who are currently in an abusive situation or have been in an abusive situation at some point in your life. And I want to share with you some Scriptures of what you could do about that, and how you can be healed from the wounds of abuse. Yahushua promises He will be a source for healing. I’m going to share with you how you can receive that healing from Him, that beautiful, sweet, wonderful healing.

Until then, may that love that comes from Yahweh purify us, sanctify us and ultimately unify us as we walk in His Spirit, anointed with the oil of gladness, of love, of joy and peace and unity in Messiah Yahushua.