I feel the need to talk about the topic of masculinity, and what the scriptures have to say about it. We live in a generation where the gender lines are becoming more and more blurred. 

It has recently gotten to the point of absolute absurdity. I thought it would get bad, but I never thought I would see the day when the Federal Government, taking cues from the president, would sue a state for passing a law requiring men to use men’s restrooms and women to use women’s restrooms. 

One day it will probably be against the law for a business to forbid men from entering women’s restrooms and showers. 

Society’s emphasis on equality for women has come at the sacrifice of their femininity. But blurring gender lines doesn’t create “equality.” Those who seek to do so expose themselves as believing we are inherently inequal to begin with.

We should each be appreciated for the inherent differences that make each of us special. Men and women are equally a glorious testimony of our Father in heaven’s handiwork, just as each individual has different gifts and qualities that make them special and unique. This is something to be celebrated, not minimized.

But we have an entire generation of young men who do not know how to be men. Today, young women are outperforming young men in almost every important statistical category. More of them are graduating from college and getting better grades and having less behavioral problems.

Today, boys often grow up spending ridiculous amounts of time in front of a video game machines, feeding their addictions to those. The thing about video games is they are so incredibly realistic nowadays that you can pretend like you are a world class football star or a world class warrior or a world class Olympian. None of it is even true. It is all fake. You have nothing but pseudo goals. 

And the realism is so good that these goals come to be a substitute for real goals in life. And when they grow up, they have no desire to take on real responsibility. Because in real life, you don’t always get a “Do over.” You don’t get multiple lives. The risks are real rather than fantasy.

So, partly for this reason, we have a generation of young men who are afraid, lazy and weak. 

Afraid to take on a commitment, and too lazy and weak to keep it. They want to have lots of fornication, but they are not interested in marriage, not interested in a real commitment. So they shack up with women and refuse to marry, too afraid to make a commitment, too afraid to take the risk.. too weak-kneed and effeminate to take charge and commit to it.

If they aren’t doing that, many are content to just stay home and be a Momma’s’ boy rather than bothering to go out and pursue goals, pursue careers, so they can provide a home for themselves and their future families. 

Men are supposed to be leaders of tomorrow, but instead are, more and more, becoming a major burden on society. Some figure out some way to get on SSI so they can sit back and collect a check without doing anything. 

They call this the “Peter Pan Generation”– boys who never grew up to be men. They call them “adultolescents,” and it is an epidemic in the United States.

Many young men have very little understanding of what manhood is, and our society has taught them morality doesn’t matter. Instead, television and movies portray young men as fornication-obsessed slackers. They just want to party all the time. And so, that’s what many of our young men have become. They have no role model other than what they see on TV because sometimes even their parents chose to fornicate rather than marry, and there is no committed father in the home to teach them how to be a man.

Today, women being assertive and taking their leadership role is praised in society, while in some circles the idea of men doing the same has become synonymous with oppression and old fashioned values. And so, society has not taught men to appreciate manhood at all. Instead it has taught men to be ashamed of it. In 1 out of 4 families with children, women are better educated and earn more than the men.

And to me, that is a tragedy because men don’t feel motivated to lead or be productive, and they go around fathering children, and they don’t provide for them, and they are not there for them. And those that do provide financially, forsake them in other areas. 

Men need to be men, grow up from adultolescence and realize that Peter Pan is just a fantasy. Like it or not, someone has to go out and work for a living.

A lot of the gender confusion nowadays has its roots in the women’s liberation movement. There was a time in America that men were allowed to mistreat and even commit domestic violence against their wives. Too often it went unpunished. The women’s liberation movement was birthed, partly because of this. When women won their right to vote, they had a major part in passing the amendment to the US constitution that outlawed the sale of alcohol. This was because when men got drunk, domestic abuse often went with it. 

But with this liberation movement came the desire for women to be more and more like the men in other areas. They wanted to wear pants like men, go to work and make money like men, become pastors and teachers like men, and be just like the men in almost every other role that had typically been assigned to men.

And so today, the natural result of this is gender confusion. What does it mean to be a man and what does it mean to be a woman? It’s no wonder that rampant homosexuality and lesbianism are the result. 

Gender confusion has now gotten to the point of ridiculousness. Now, they are teaching little boys and girls in government schools that, as they grow up, can choose to be a boy or a girl depending on how they feel inside rather than how they were actually born. This is the height of absurdity and foolishness. 

So what does scripture say about all this? Does Yahweh actually have certain expectations for men, and a different set of expectations for women? 

Obviously He made us different physically. Men have 30% more muscle mass on average. Women are given a uterus and breasts for nurturing children. Inherently, the signal is pretty clear that He has different expectations for men and women. 

Scripture says that men who act like women are effeminate. Consider what Paul said here in 1Corinthians chapter 6

What’s the difference between a homosexual and a sodomite? Both are practicing the same sin. Well, the word translated “homosexuals” comes from the Greek word 3120

3120 μαλακός malakos {mal-ak-os’} 
Meaning:  1) soft, soft to the touch 2) metaph. in a bad sense 2a) effeminate 2a1) of a catamite 2a2) of a boy kept for homosexual relations with a man 2a3) of a male who submits his body to unnatural lewdness 2a4) of a male prostitute 
Origin:  of uncertain affinity;; adj
Usage:  AV – soft 3, effeminate 1; 4

This is also found in Matthew 11:8 when Yahushua talked about soft garments…

A soft man would be an effeminate man, a male taking on feminine characteristics. Today, those who speak out against effeminate men are labeled “homophobic” and “bigots.” 

But again, the gender lines are blurred partly because men failed to be righteous men, and women, seeking to challenge male authority in society, rose up and sought to be like men. Those who disagreed with their ambitions were labeled “sexist.” Men failed to be righteous men, and women followed that example and failed to be righteous women. 

What it means to be a man

As men, we need to understand what Yahweh expects of us. There are gender-specific roles that are seen from the very beginning. Yahushua, when He was asked about the divorce question, told the Pharisees:

So Yahushua was explaining that we CAN get good doctrine from the first few chapters of Genesis. In the beginning, Yahweh made them male and female, and He caused the 2 to become one flesh, and what Elohim has joined together, we should not separate. 

It seems to me that we can also get an idea of what Yahweh expects from both men and women by studying the book of Genesis. 

Based on what Yahweh has said here, it’s evident that Yahweh had already given man the role of provider. And now, getting any food out of the ground was going to be difficult and require hard labor. Work itself was not the curse, but now that the ground was cursed, work was going to be more laborious.

Instead of having access to the garden, he now had to eat the herbs of the field, and he would eat bread by the sweat of his face until he died. 

With the woman, Yahweh focused on childbearing, but with the man, He focused on working and providing for his wife.

True masculinity has to do with humbly accepting and walking out this responsibility:

The breadwinner role is confirmed throughout the scriptures. 

It says “HE” has denied the faith. Men are given the role of provider. 

Men who are slack in that role are often ridiculed in scripture:

Now today one of the reasons why some men struggle with laziness is because there is a serious lack of motivation. I mentioned video games earlier.. left unchecked, these kinds of things can become a substitute for real goals. Following sports can do the same thing, for one’s goals get wrapped up in the team they follow getting a championship rather than having real goals of their own.

Following politics can do the same thing. 

So we need to beware of parasites like these things that can suck the life out of us and get our goals oriented into things that have no real value. Fishing and golf can do the same thing. Not that all these things are bad, but left unchecked they become substitutionary goals that undermine our ability to be effective in providing for our family.

Yahweh created men and women to have a vision, and drive. 

So He created us to do something, not just sit around and watch TV or surf the internet or play games. But too many young men today are lacking that drive. 

Effeminate men who are content to stay at home and be a momma’s boy or sit back and have their wife do all the work while they do little to nothing to contribute to the household. They’ll figure out some way to get on SSI even though they really could work if they wanted to.

And some of them are in the Hebrew Roots movement. Whenever someone gets SSI because of some kind of physical problem, I always wonder.. you know I have had several office jobs over the years that didn’t require me to lift anything. Why can’t these men go work in an office somewhere? There are tons of jobs out there that require little physical strength. 

Now, I know there are some people who have back issues which make it difficult for them to sit for long periods of time. I’m not talking about those who might actually qualify for SSI, but those who take an SSI check when in reality they could work if they wanted to.

But instead, they sit back and collect a check. To me, that’s sad. Not just sad for everyone else who has to work so that these men can sit back and get paid, but sad for the men who collect the money because that’s not what we were created to do. 

And some of these same men still expect their wives to provide for the family in addition to functioning as a housewife, preparing meals, doing laundry and doing dishes.

Now, I know there are some people who have back issues which make it difficult for them to sit for long periods of time. I’m not talking about those who might actually qualify for SSI, but those who take an SSI check when in reality they could work if they wanted to. If you are one of them, shame on you. 

You could provide for yourself or your household but in your heart you know that you are just too lazy to do it.

So instead, you sit back and collect a check…knowing full well that you could find work. It’s sad. Not just sad for everyone else who has to work harder so that men like this can sit back and get paid, but sad for the men who collect the money because that’s not what we were created to do. Maybe some of them were affected by the examples of weak-kneed effeminate men. But listen, we are disciples of Yahushua now. In scripture it is evident that we men are responsible for providing for our family.

If you have a legitimate reason why you can’t work, I’m not talking about you. But you know in your heart whether you do or don’t have a legitimate reason. It’s not my place to judge you, but there is one who does.

Paul had no patience for slackers:

“We command and exhort through our Master Yahushua… ”  It’s not an option. And for those who didn’t:

He was pretty serious about working. Remember, these are the inspired words of our Creator. Those who sit around and do nothing are guilty of iniquity:

For believers, it’s a poor witness when men refuse to work. And Yahweh will judge such a one:

So, men I admonish you that, if you are able, and Yahweh knows if you are, go out and provide for your family. Over and over again Yahweh talks about the fatherless and the widow, the fatherless and the widow. He is concerned that the men of various cities and congregations were not providing for the fatherless and the widow. Consider:

Now, if Yahweh is so upset that Israel is not providing for another man’s wife and children… imagine how He would feel if a man doesn’t provide for His OWN wife and children?

Some men need to get on their faces, repent and ask Yahweh for forgiveness. They need to ask their wife or family for forgiveness for refusing to work. Again, I’m not talking about those who are unable to work for one reason or another. Some of you might be unemployed, or can’t find a job…but you are really trying to find something, anything, even if it means taking a minimum wage job somewhere. I’m not talking about you.

Yahweh knows the hearts. And He sees you and He sees all of us. In the Hebrew, the word for laziness and the word for deception are actually related to one another. Such men are experts at making deceitful excuses:

Always a reason. But men, we are called to work.. and work hard:

Spiritual Provision

When I say work, a real man doesn’t just provide for his family’s physical needs. As the provider of his household, he is also responsible for spiritual leadership. For providing for the family’s spiritual needs:

Those who don’t provide for their family spiritually are just as guilty as those who don’t provide for their family physically. It’s not just the physical provision that Yahweh is concerned about. The spiritual provision, surely, is even more important. 

Why is Yahweh so concerned about the fatherless and the widow? Is it only because their physical needs must be met? Are not the spiritual needs just as important, if not far more important? Considering all the scriptures where Yahweh is angry because the fatherless and widow are neglected, woe to the fathers who neglect the spiritual needs of their wife and children!

All the Sabbaths, calling of assemblies, feast days can be a burden to Him because He cannot endure the neglect. He cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting. Yahweh is VERY concerned about the wives and children, shouldn’t we be? If, in Isaiah 1:13-17, Yahweh cannot endure the offerings, Feast Days and Sabbaths of those who are neglecting the physical needs of what used to be another man’s wife and children (fatherless and widow), how much more so if we neglect the spiritual needs of our own wives and children? Consider:

Is it just the physical providing that Yahweh is concerned about? Surely, the spiritual is far more important. The first leads to physical death, the latter leads to spiritual death. So, are we worse than an unbeliever? Let it not be!

No outreach ministry, feast/sabbath keeping or calling on the right name is going to save us if we fail to address the neglect in these areas. If Yahushua returns tomorrow and we find out that we didn’t keep the feast at the right time or we made a mistake in our observances, we might be able to say “I desired the truth, but I was wrong, have mercy on me”. We might then be able to observe it correctly under the direction of Messiah. But if Yahushua returns and says “Look, you didn’t even provide for your own wife and children”, there won’t be any correcting brethren, the damage is done! Let it not be so among us. 

But too often, the women today are the spiritual driving force behind the family. Sometimes it’s because women choose to be dominant, and other times it’s out of a lack of spiritual drive on the part of the man. Sometimes the man lacks spiritual drive because the wife really doesn’t want him to be the head unless she’s the neck that turns the head. 

But it doesn’t matter, men. You are still the head of household. You have to act as the one in charge. You have to lead your family. Now, if your wife doesn’t want to follow your lead.. that’s on her. But you are responsible to lead. You should be saying something, even if it means you’ll pay for it. I’m not saying get into carnal arguments with your wife. I am saying that you should be leading.. regardless whether anyone follows. 

Yahushua acted as the one in charge, compelled others to follow Him, but He didn’t force anyone to follow Him. 

You see, there is a difference between leadership and control. Yahushua never forced anyone to follow Him. He only compelled them to do so. He warned those who didn’t, but He didn’t harp on people who didn’t.

Notice that He didn’t stop the rich man and jam a thousand scriptures down his throat. He warned him, and that was the end of it.

So when I speak of a man providing for his family spiritually, I’m not talking about a man controlling his wife. I’m talking about a man leading his wife. 

Now, whether or not she is willing to follow that lead is completely her choice…but as Yahushua warned those who didn’t follow Him, women who don’t follow the Yahweh-ordained leader of the family will have consequences in the spiritual realm.

So, men, don’t feel pressured if your wife doesn’t follow your lead, but you must.. I say you MUST lead. There are too many henpecked men who fear their wife’s response if they act as one in charge. That’s sometimes because whenever the man has taken charge, they have been controlling and oppressive, but Yahweh has given us the role of spiritually providing for our families and we need to take that seriously. 

Men, this means that just as you are required to labor physically to provide food for your household, Yahweh requires you to labor in the word to provide spiritual food for your household. And it’s not an option.

The spiritual is even more important than the physical. Don’t delegate your responsibility to your wife, some Bible teacher somewhere, or your local congregation. Yahweh has charged YOU to provide for your family. Do not neglect it or you will pay the price.

Take the time in the morning at breakfast to read the scriptures together with your family. You may feel inadequate at first, but the question isn’t whether you feel up to the task.. you are required to lead. Yahweh made you to lead, and so He has already seen to it that you have the tools within you to do so. He built you for leadership, it’s just that this world has been stomping men down for so long, that it has deceived men into thinking that they are wrong for taking the lead.

But every successful endeavor must have leadership. Every business, every organization, every nation in the world has leadership. There are always people in charge and responsible for the success. If no one is in charge of anything, the business will fail, the organization will fail, the nation will fail. I say that family will also fail if there is no clearly defined leadership. The ideal situation is that you have a husband and wife who are so in tune with Yahweh’s leadership in their lives, that there is no conflict and they are a team working in concert with Yahweh and His Spiritual leading of the family.

Now, in order to be effective leaders, we need to have our relationship right with Yahweh. We need to be men after Yahweh’s own heart. We need to be willing to let Messiah live in us. We need to be men who love others as ourselves, being thankful for the Messiah’s work of love and our life showing that. We need to be men of great mercy, compassion and understanding…yet without failing to stand for what is right. 

We need to give honor to our wives 

It’s often spoken that a wife needs to respect her husband. We need to also honor our wives and love them like Yahushua loves us:

We must also show respect toward our children….dedicated toward bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of Yahweh…

Throughout the scriptures, men are expected to be the disciplinarian for children. But we must do so with respect. Not provoking their carnal nature, but provoking their spiritual nature. And when we correct them, we must also lead by example. Often times, more is caught than taught. Our lives are what they tend to emulate the most.

So our goal is that our children are deeply in love with the Heavenly Father because they see Yahweh in their earthly Father. Our goal is that our wife lovingly submits to us, because they are confident that we love them and they are secure in doing it because they know we have their best interest at heart. As spiritual providers, we must have the kind of speech that inspires others to walk before Yahweh blamelessly. Our goal is that every thought, word and deed manifests the fruits of Yahweh’s Spirit. Real men are men who take captive every thought and bring it to total submission to Yahweh. Real men pray for their family and with their family.

Real men serve their wives and children, and are always willing to be the one to do without. 

So biblical manhood isn’t about being large and in charge, sitting back and firing off orders, like a king on a throne. 

The great multitude followed Yahushua because of what He had to offer them. Service, love, and solid teaching. 

Now, He is the ultimate example of leadership. Now, He isn’t behind us with His staff in the air, driving us forward. He’s ahead of us, leading us and calling us to follow His example. 

Having raised sheep for several years, this was one of the things I learned. In order to direct sheep into the place you want them to go, scaring them with my shepherd’s rod was rarely effective. They would see me as an enemy. 

But if I had food, they would follow me anywhere. If they got out of the fence, all I would have to do is call them and they would come running to me. They would see me as a friend. Is this not why we follow Messiah? Because we know that His leadership is ultimately always for our benefit.

We love the spiritual food He provides (His teachings). We know that following Him leads to life. We know that we can trust His sacrificial love and concern for us. There is no better path to take. It is the enemy who typically drives you from behind. Our Savior simply leads…and it is up to us to follow. In the great Psalm 23, it says

“I shall not want.” What does this mean? The Hebrew word translated “Want” is “Khaser” which means “to be in need.” When Yahweh is our Shepherd, all our needs are met. Not necessarily everything we desire, but certainly everything we need. 

We need to be loved, valued and heard. He is there. 

We need encouragement. He is there.

We need physical and spiritual provision. He is there. We need someone to understand us, to guide us and to rescue us from trouble. He is there. We need eternal life, and a trustworthy and gentle teacher to lead us there. He is there!

Are we, as spiritual providers and leaders, following His example of leadership and provision? Too many men, and at one time I was one of them, have a militaristic view of leadership. A strong-arm view of leadership. Men in the sense of physical presence, physical strength and other manly attributes. 

The worldly view of masculinity is about who is the strongest, who is the fittest, who is the tough guy in the sense of physical strength, who is the tallest, who is the largest. 

That’s not what Yahweh is looking for when it comes to masculinity. 

Notice what David told Solomon:

Biblical masculinity is keeping the charge of Yahweh Elohim. Walking in His ways, His statutes, His commandments, His judgment, His testimonies

That’s true masculinity. David said “BE STRONG AND PROVE YOURSELF A MAN.” Until you have done verse 3 you are nothing but an effeminate man. Until you have set it in your heart to do what is said in verse 3, you are nothing but an effeminate man. A softy. 

And if you let your wife walk all over you and use her as an excuse to not walk in Yahweh’s ways, His statutes, His commandments, His judgment, and His testimonies…and you allow yourself to be a pliable pushover in these areas, you need to MAN UP.

That was the problem with King Ahab. Ahab was willing to disobey Yahweh in order to accommodate his immoral, bloodthirsty, yet spiritually intense wife. 

Yahweh said of Ahab:

Ahab sold himself. He offered himself up for sale and let just anyone walk all over him as if he were their slaves. Being a softie, and refusing to (as David told Solomon) “prove himself a man” and keep the commandments of Yahweh, he would not stand up to his morally repugnant wife, Jezebel. 

Men, we need to embrace the way Yahweh really did create us. It is obvious that He has given us the role of breadwinners for our families. On average Yahweh gives men about 30-40% more muscle mass than women. He also made our muscle fibers 5-10% stronger and larger on average. 

The end result is that women are clinically, on average, about half as strong as men. It was to Adam that Yahweh said would have to toil by the sweat of his brow in order to bring food out of the soil. It was to Eve/Chawah that He assigned the birth of children and said she would do so in pain as well. He made a woman’s body to bear and nurse children. There is no way a man could ever do that. 

He made each of us differently, and we need to accept and embrace the way He made us. The world, in its absurdity, is going to tell us that we can choose whether we want to be men or not, but Yahweh already chose when He created us. To reject that is to reject Him and what He created us to be. 

The so-called “Christian” sodomites will tell you that they were created to be sodomites and they do not have a choice. It is the reprobate mind that embraces sin and blames Yahweh for it. You are going to be seeing more and more of this in the days ahead.

We need to cleave to the word of Yahweh, no matter what the scientists claim the evidence is. Just like evolution and other scientists claim that we are just mere descendants from the ape family, they are going to keep trying to prove that a person is born to be a sodomite or lesbian. 

Men also need to embrace the roles of father and husband that Yahweh has given us. With our superior physical strength comes the responsibility to use it for protecting our families rather than using it to abuse and rule over our families with intimidation and anger.

I’ve heard too many cases of men abusing their wives physically and justifying themselves for it (See study on Abuse). Yahushua could have came and used His position of power to force this world into submission. Instead He came and served us, loved us, and died for us so that we would be compelled to serve Him in return with a willing heart. Yahweh gave us the role of leadership, and we need to lead the way Yahushua leads. 

Now another area of responsibility for men is the masculine role of protecting our families and keeping them safe. I don’t even know if I have to speak of the physical part of it, as most men understand this and it’s already built into us to protect the weak. It’s practically automatic. 

In scripture, it was the men who went out to war so that their cities and families are protected. If an intruder comes in the house, it’s men who take up the role as defender and protector of the family. And we should do whatever we consider to be necessary to defend and protect our families from evil men who may seek to do us harm. Yahweh has charged us to be like Messiah and lay down our lives for those under our care. 

We are not called to be hireling shepherds of our family. We need to care about the physical, emotional.. and yes, spiritual well-being. 

It’s the spiritual well-being that men often neglect. A lot of times, men get a testosterone boost when they think of physical protection of their family, but we are also called to protect our families spiritually. We are not the heads of households because we are anything special or because we are better than our wives. We are heads of households because we are the ones who are responsible. Yahweh will hold us accountable for how we have led our families. And He will hold those under our care responsible for how they have followed that leadership. 

So as part of our spiritual leadership we need to protect our families from spiritual dangers, not just physical dangers. If you saw your wife or children about to walk out in front of a car, surely you would do everything in your power to protect them from the physical danger. Surely you would grab them and pull them backward. If you saw one of your children about to walk into an animal trap, surely you would do whatever is needed to keep them from the trap.

Our homes should be like a walled city and place of refuge. Ancient cities of renown always had walls. Within the walls, one could find peace and protection.

There would be at least one elder at the gates. The elders decided who would enter the city and who would not. If there were ever a breach in the wall, it was quickly repaired lest an enemy enter in. Our homes need to be a walled city, an area of protection from the enemy. The father is the elder at the gate, deciding who and what influences will enter the home. Whether it be a person, a book, a magazine or anything that could potentially harm his home spiritually, the Father should be there to keep his wife and children from the subtle influences of sin. Television can be one of the most destructive things a person can have in their home. It is like a giant breach in the wall. 

It is almost impossible to guard ahead of time unless it is previewed it in some way, or if the creators of the program have a truly biblical worldview. Television and movies thrust scenes and words upon you and your family, and the damage is often already done by the time you determine how wicked it really was. It is also a thief that robs a man’s time when time is so short!

Now in order for us to adequately protect our family from spiritual dangers, we need to be watchmen. Watchmen on the wall, on the lookout for things that may negatively affect our family. But too often men are out of the home, busy working long hours.. chasing the American dollar..and then using their free time to play with the toys they have amassed rather than spending time with the family Yahweh gave them. 

As family men, we need to be home. We need to enjoy being home and spending time with our families rather than neglecting that and spending all or most of our off-time time with our buddies and friends. Be a shepherd!

But what if the elder is not even at the gate of his walled city? What if he is out working and playing all hours of the day or night? What if he ships his children off to the world, outside those walls for 8 or more hours a day where they are a companion of fools in government schools and taught the ways of the world? 

Your children need to be your companions, more so than people of their own age. Especially if those children have not had the foolishness driven from them. I’m not saying your children shouldn’t have friends. Friends that are good spiritual examples are wonderful assets to your family. But there are so many foolish children out there.

Surely we wouldn’t let a little child play in the street because we know about the risk of their physical death. Why then would we send them into the dangerous playground of this unbelieving generation where there is such a great risk of spiritual destruction? We must protect the children within our walled city and train their hands and minds for war until they are ready to do battle. YES, absolutely yes, this means that the children are schooled and taught at home. I do not believe that children of Yahweh should be raised in government schools. It is not the responsibility of the government to teach our children. It is not even the responsibility of the congregation to teach our children. The Torah says it is our own responsibility to teach our children. 

If we really want to raise up a righteous generation in the midst of a crooked and perverse one, then we need to be together…when you sit….

I believe the best arrangement is usually that Mom, Dad and the children are normally all together in the same house throughout the course of a day. 

If we want to fulfill the vision, and heed the call, then men NEED to be with their families as much as possible. This practice of going off to work every day and children going off to school every day is so very often terribly destructive to homes and relationships! Fathers are strongly encouraged to do what it takes to work from home, even if it means having to lower your standard of living. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob didn’t send their children out of the home to be with transgressors while they went out and worked for transgressors. I believe this is a good example for us. Because it is such an evil time, we must be very much on guard and watching over our nest.

It used to be that fathers and mothers stayed together rather than getting a divorce. It used to be that fathers would teach their sons how to farm, or teach them the family trade. Basically, the father was there for his son, taught him how to be a husband and a father. Meanwhile the mother would teach her daughters how to keep the home and how to sew, and how to be a good help meet for her future husband.

Enter: the industrial revolution. Father’s now had the opportunity to go and work for a large company, which would provide him with a secure source of income, but there would be a tradeoff. Now that the father is away, the son is sitting at home. 

However, the son can now become more highly skilled by getting an education at the local schoolhouse and then when he grows up, he can go work for some corporation like his father.

Okay, now I’m not against education, but look at what this does to the family. It used to be that Dad, Mom and the children are all together as a family unit…spending lots of loving, quality time together. Now we have Dad here, children over here, and Mom at home…waiting for the arrival of her husband and children.

Now over time, especially when the two world wars hit when there was a need for workers, Mom’s grew discontent with just sitting at home while Dad and the children are gone. 

And now with the divorce rate climbing due to all of this division, divorced women were flooding the job market, and women grew increasingly distrustful of the security of their marriage, and wanted to go and “be somebody” rather than just sit at home with their kids. 

ENTER: The Television. IN the 50’s and 60’s and 70’s, the television slowly started taking over family life in the evenings. There would be the evening news, then the television shows that followed. This means that rather than parents and children socializing and doing things together, everyone would sit and watch TV, being entertained and programmed by Hollywood. Hollywood introduced, ever so slowly, bit by bit, ever so subtly, the lifestyles of the wicked.

Whereas David said:

This nation said, what is that wickedness before my eyes? Oh, it won’t hurt to watch just a little. Yeah, that one thing is pretty bad, but the rest of the program is fine. 

Do you know what a magician’s wand is made out of? Holly wood. And Hollywood has used the airwaves, through the prince and power of the air, to send out its wickedness, and those who channel those doctrines of demons, through “channels” sit spellbound for hours while they infiltrate the household from within.

Too often, the same man who would protect their family from intruders trying to break in their house and harm their family physically will say nothing as the evil influences come into their home through various media and harm their families spiritually.

We can’t do it. Now some of you have families that are hooked on these things, and you might be tempted to start laying down the law. I would caution you somewhat here. We are called to lead, but being a hard nosed controlling leader is still leaving a void in masculinity. 

This is because true biblical masculinity isn’t the man who has a drill sergeant mentality. 

True, biblical masculinity involves leading your family, step by step into the paths of righteousness. Knowing when to speak, and how to speak it. Speaking the truth in love.

Leading people to Yahushua, to the example of holiness that He lived, compelling our family members to walk uprightly, to do justly, and to foster their relationship with Yahweh and Yahushua.

We set the example first. Then we ask the necessary questions, calling out the conscience of those around us. Wooing their hearts toward righteousness. If you, for example, just walk over to the TV and throw it off the porch, yank the cell phones out of your children’s hands and throw them in the garbage, and lock your family up in the house, keeping them away from any and every possible influence. 

Like Yahushua we lead gently, we teach, we instruct, we encourage, we instruct.

We must be men. This world needs real men. Men who keep the commandments of Elohim. Men who provide and protect their families both spiritually and physically. Men who know how to walk out the Savior’s example of love.

I am still a work in progress in this area, and probably we all are. We have lost so much in this generation, and we are losing more and more. 

It’s time that men stand up and be men by lifting up the biblical standard of masculinity and manhood, and show them what a blessing it truly is. For there is no happier place than to be doing just what we were created to do.

There is so much more that I could say on this topic. But I felt led to address some very specific and very important areas that need our attention in the body of the Messiah.

Some of this relates to the home life, but for those of you who are single, there are a lot of fatherless children out there who need your help. Look up the local chapter of big brothers big sisters charity. Look for children in your area that are lacking a father in the home, and look to be a father to the fatherless. Over and over and over again, in the scriptures, Yahweh speaks about a believer’s responsibility to care for the fatherless. Those who afflict them are in a heap of trouble:

He set forth provisions in Israelite culture to ensure that the fatherless had their physical needs met:

And He made sure that they were treated just like everyone else and they could come and enjoy the blessing of His feasts:

And He commanded that they not be taken advantage of:

Job was considered righteous because he cared for the fatherless:

Job 31:16-18 – “If I have kept the poor from their desire, Or caused the eyes of the widow to fail,
 17 Or eaten my morsel by myself, So that the fatherless could not eat of it
 18 (But from my youth I reared him as a father, And from my mother’s womb I guided the widow)
…22 Then let my arm fall from my shoulder, Let my arm be torn from the socket.

Yahweh Himself says He is:

So what is our responsibility, as believers in Messiah, toward the fatherless? In light of the scriptures, fatherlessness isn’t just something that we look at and say, “how sad.” 

We are supposed to do something about it. In Isaiah 1:1-17, Yahweh says he hates our feast days unless we take care of the needs of the fatherless.

The book of James says:

Every single one of us have a responsibility to do something. Part of walking in love is seeing the needs of children, and seeking to fulfill those needs. 

If you know of a fatherless child, minister to them. If you live near or in a community with a high rate of fatherlessness, there is a huge ministry opportunity there for you. Men can seek to fill the void and be a father figure to the fatherless. All of us can point them to Yahweh, who promises to be a father to the fatherless. The spiritual and emotional needs are even more important than the physical needs. 

We need to be the sheep of Matthew 25 who, out of love, looked to fulfill the needs of people around them..rather than the goats with the “be warmed and be filled” mindset (James 2:16).

We have the solution. The solution is Yahushua the Messiah, who has the power to supply one’s every need. The government can only supply financial assistance to the fatherless children in the form of food stamps and public housing. So far, the government has not been able to break the cycle, and they wonder why. It’s because they need more than financial help.

But beware lest your own children be spiritually fatherless, or your wife be a spiritual widow. We cannot. We cannot sit back! As you read this, Satan is actively working to destroy your wife and your children. We must fulfill the vision. We must be strong. We must do the work. We must die to ourselves and let the Messiah live in us, doing the work in us. For the time has come and the time is now. 

Build your house and show Yahweh’s strength to the next generation by taking the time every day and have some worship and scripture reading with our families. Pick a specific hour of the day where you will refuse to let anything distract you. We’ve personally found great benefit in having everyone spend one hour reading and studying the scriptures, then coming together for family worship, praise and scripture lesson for another hour. Then throughout the day, it is good to guide each conversation toward lessons in Yahweh’s word. 

We must seek to have a spirit of love, joy and peace as we build the house, one lesson at a time, one experience at a time, that Yahweh might fashion in our children a beautiful home for His presence. Therefore, let’s sanctify ourselves and dedicate ourselves to building a house that will not be destroyed in the whirlwinds of adult life.

We are called to be house builders, letting Yahweh, by His Spirit use us to lead and provide and make a place of protections against the whirlwinds and storms of this life. Take heed now, for Yahweh has charged you to build a house, a sanctuary for the Spirit of the living Elohim.

Be strong, stand up as a man, and do it. And as you do it, be strong and of good courage, and let Yahweh use you to lead your family to the promised land.

May Yahweh be with all of us.